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Wanna be a Parisian?

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Wanna be a Parisian?

You will thank me later for the precious tips I’m giving away today on how to become a Parisian. Start practicing some weeks before you visit to make sure you have a great time in town. Of course your looks will matter too but this is another story. Just remenmber that if you feel too confortable in your clothes means there might be something wrong with your look!

Otherwise find hereafter 15 interesting tips to pretend…

1-Show your disinterest with the correct sounds/shrugs
The casually dismissive shrug that’s accompanied by a lip pout and a slight exhale of air, and possibly a casual exclamation of “bof” or “pfff”? Know it. Master it.

2-Complain
It doesn’t matter about what.

3-Drink on Canal Saint-Martin
Sure, all the guidebooks tell you to buy a bottle of wine and drink on the Seine, but Parisians hit the Saint-Martin.

4-Leave town for all of August
The only people in Paris in August are tourists and the people that were too late in their Summer planning to lock down a good deal on a vacation somewhere else. And you don’t want to be that person.

5-Stop smiling
French people smile. Parisians don’t.

6-Be able to wear a scarf in all seasons
It’s practically the city’s uniform.

7-Order an espresso after a meal
You can opt out of dessert, but not rounding off a long meal without a strong cup of black espresso just makes you look weird.

8-Be embarrassed because you went to the grocery store in your workout clothes
If you do this in your sleep you need to wake up and change.

9-Use the word “putain”(F..K) with alarming regularity
It’s almost a term of endearment now.

10-Stuff yourself into the Metro
There are no fancy subway pushers like in the Tokyo Metro. You need to stuff yourself in here.

11-Go to an apéro that starts at 7pm and ends at 3am… on a Wednesday
Sure, you came over for a glass of bubbles and some light appetizers. But then the conversation got good and another bottle was opened and soon it was 10pm and you and your host figured it was best to throw together a salad and eat it with the baguette and last bit of cheese that they had on hand. All to say: if you’re getting invited over for an apéro, best not to make any plans for afterwards.

12-Know what constitutes a good croissant and a bad one
Hint: the real ones are made with pure butter and cynicism.

13-Go to a dinner party that starts at 9pm… on a Wednesday
You can probably get into the office around 10am tomorrow morning.

14-Don’t be self-critical about what you eat
You eat croissants and you enjoy it. But you don’t overdo it. Had a big meal last night? Have a salad today. Eating is about balance and enjoyment, not about feeling bad about yourself.

15-But still be a little critical about what you eat… 
You have to look like a Parisian too.

See you in Paris!

 

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